


Control

by Richter



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: F/F, Other, Past Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-01
Updated: 2016-08-01
Packaged: 2018-07-28 16:21:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,048
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7648045
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Richter/pseuds/Richter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A retelling of 'Alone at Sea' where Lapis Lazuli makes a different choice.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Control

**Author's Note:**

  * For [AmberSpirit](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AmberSpirit/gifts).



> Written as a gift. (I know the relationship between them is bad, but I had to do it anyway!)

Lapis Lazuli looked down at the figure kneeling before her. She felt the hands clutching at her own, shaking ones and (more than simply the shock of Jasper being in front of her again) she felt the dizzying pull towards the other gem; the need to fall into her and become the one thing they both desired to be. She felt sick.

She had tried to forget about it. She had been doing her best to enjoy the boat trip with Steven and his male human role-model, but every time she had looked out across the ocean she had heard it speak to her, whispering- reminding her of how long she had spent trying to contain the other gem’s power, and of how long they had been together, fighting for control. For months she had used everything she could to force the other down, to suppress her, to make her _obey_ , and now here she was, begging on her knees.

“I was wrong.” Jasper’s eyes were wild as they gazed up at her and Lapis felt a cold, satisfied shiver up her back, concentrating between her shoulder-blades at the centre of her gem. Jasper’s hand squeezed tighter to her own, warm and clammy, and Lapis could see the tremor in the other’s forearm, the muscle rippling with restraint. Jasper burned with electricity, obviously using all her strength to remain on her knees. She was making the effort to behave herself. “I was wrong about fusion. You made me understand.”

Lapis heard Steven’s voice, but not what he said, and saw the change in Jasper’s eyes. The gem’s pupils shrank and her brows furrowed tightly, the annoyance clear. Her grip loosened on Lapis’ hand and the deck of the boat groaned under her sheer bulk as she stood from her knees. Lapis found her own brow furrowing. She found herself wondering: who had told Jasper she could stand? At the thought, she quickly pulled herself back a few paces, wanting to distance herself from the other gem’s intoxication. Her voice shook as she found it, trying to reminded herself what the fusion had done to her. “I was terrible to you.”

Jasper turned away from Steven, her eyes once again soft and desperate. “It’ll be better this time.” She spoke with such conviction that Lapis found herself drawn back toward her. “I’ve changed- You’ve changed me!” she continued. Her voice sounded sincere, so responsive. Lapis found herself considering the truth that Jasper was speaking with more admiration and respect in her voice than she had ever given to Yellow Diamond. Had Lapis, had _Malachite_ , become more important to Jasper than their Diamond?

“Together, we’ll be unstoppable.”

And Lapis knew that was true. Before, she had spent so much energy and effort to push Jasper down, denying her, that she had experienced the throb of power within Malachite so much more than the other had. It had been _her_ power. She had dominated their fusion, and here was Jasper offering to give her that power back, without restriction. She wouldn’t have to fight for control any more. She would own the other gem, and her power, exclusively...

But something wasn't right. The possibility made her dizzy and she stepped back further, leaning against the wall of the ship’s cabin. She had never been offered something like that before. She had missed being Malachite, true. She had told Steven that much. But what she had missed was… ruling. She had been used for centuries; cracked and forced into that mirror, then abandoned on Earth. She had been used by gems, misunderstood, thrown away when her usefulness had ended, and when she had finally returned to HomeWorld everything had changed, she was even more of an outsider than she had been before and Yellow Diamond had forced her back. Jasper had forced her.

“Lapis doesn’t want anything to do with you!” Steven’s voice cut across her thoughts.

Jasper turned, angry again, and threw her arm out, knocking him back. Her teeth were bared, “This is between us.” She stepped toward Lapis, crowding her against the wall. There was the sensation of being trapped, but it was familiar and Lapis felt calmed by it- but she kept her eyes firmly to the floor.

Jasper shifted and leant her mouth down to her ear, “I know what you’re capable of,” she murmured, keeping her voice to a low rumble. “And I know what you did- when we were down there.” Everything tensed and for a moment there was nothing but Jasper and the harsh reality of what had happened between them. “I know that, whenever I thought I was clawing back control, it was only because you _let me.”_

Lapis clenched her eyes shut tight.

Whilst fused as Malachite there had been one simple truth: to let Jasper loose would end in tragedy. She had pushed and pushed and pushed the other gem’s subconscious down; she had taken control of everything and had known that it would be okay as long as she managed to maintain it… But it had grown boring.

“I thought I was a brute, but you… you’re a monster,” Jasper smirked. “I know what’s wrong… but don’t worry, I won’t make it easy for you. I’ll struggle as hard as you want me to.”

There it was- the truth snapped into place. Lapis didn’t miss Malachite, or Jasper. She missed the control, the power, the feeling of finally being in charge, of being significant. She had liked taking everything out on Jasper. She had needed it. Having Jasper so close, so intoxicated on Lapis’ power that she was willing to chain herself again, was too much. There was nothing else Lapis could say or do. She had to agree. Any other reply would have been insincere. Yes, she could have shoved Jasper away, made a scene of being the bigger gem, of being considerate, and she could have made Steven proud. But that wasn’t what she wanted. What she wanted was Jasper on her knees again, struggling to get free.

“All right,” she mumbled, pressing herself against Jasper’s broad chest, the diamond emblem underneath her hands. “Yes.”

She felt the tight, eager grasp of Jasper’s hands around her waist, the other’s smirk against her ear, and then she was gone.


End file.
